It’s time to stop blaming others for your problems.
In this season 9 episode 3, we’ll explore the stories we tell when we blame our circumstances or the people around us. We’ll also take a look at how these thoughts and phrases can be limiting you from achieving success as a FITPRO.
You might be waiting for things to be perfect before you put any work in, or blaming other people so you don’t feel the pressure of being responsible.
You may think that if only they would do something differently, then your life would improve, or maybe it would be easier to do your revision?
Join us in today’s podcast as we explore blame, and how we can take responsibility for own actions
Watch: Blaming Others Will Only Hold You Back
0:00 Intro to season 9 episode 3
02:00 The stories we tell when we blame others
05:00 Exploring common phrases we use when blaming others
10:00 Urgent and Important tasks – the Eisenhower Matrix
15:00 Waiting for things to be perfect
19:00 THe complex equivalent
22:30 Taking Response-ability
26:00 Work with the thing you blame instead of against it
30:00 What do you constantly blame?
31:00 Join our Parallel Coaching Inner Circle with other fitness professionals like you https://www.facebook.com/groups/parallelcoachinginnercircle/
If you’d like to be a guest on our FITPRO Sessions Podcast, or have a specific topic request…
message us here: m.me/ParallelCoaching
The stories we tell when we blame others
The stories we tell about ourselves, the thoughts and ideas that play in our head every day can be empowering or limiting – it’s up to you how your story goes.
We all blame others for the things that happen around us.
It’s natural to want someone else to take responsibility for what we can’t control, but this is a very unhealthy way of thinking and it will only hold you back from achieving your goals.
In order to move forward in our lives, we need to learn how to take response-ability – or the ability to respond instead of reacting.
Exploring common phrases we use when blaming others
There are a lot of different words and phrases related to blame, some of which
make it appear like we are not blaming others at all.
Here are some common phrases that you might use when blaming others for your lack of action towards your revision or studies:
- “If only they had told me sooner!”
- “I haven’t got time.”
- “I need to focus on my career.”
- “I haven’t got [the thing] I need.”
- “I wish I’d have known this earlier.”
- “My family is my top priority.”
- “They should’ve been clearer with their instructions.”
These phrases are all things we say when blaming others for not meeting our needs, or for getting in the way of our FITPRO success – but the problem is that these phrases do nothing to help us move forward.
In his book “The Power of Self-Esteem,” Nathaniel Branden discusses how blaming others for our problems can be dangerous,
and that it’s important to become aware of the excuses we make in order to keep things from actually getting done.
The problem is not outside of us – it’s inside
Urgent and Important tasks – the Eisenhower Matrix
The Eisenhower matric is a grid, and it can be used to break down your tasks into Urgent, Important, or Non-Urgent/Non-Important.
The matrix is made up of four quadrants: the upper left (Do), the lower left (Delegate), the upper right (Decide) and the lower right (Delete).
You would place items in each of these quadrants based on how you rate their urgency and importance.
See the grid below, and explore how you categorise tasks in your day
One of my favorite features of this tool is its ability to help us prioritize our tasks so we can get more done with less stress.
We know what needs doing right away, which projects still have some time before they reach their deadlines, and which ones are unimportant.
This can help you prioritize your study and revision without blaming others for not getting it done.
Typically when people blame others they are making excuses for themselves so that they don’t need to actually work on solving the issue.
Taking responsibility means taking ownership of your actions and recognizing that in order to move forward you must address this factor in some way – whether it’s changing yourself or addressing what needs to change externally.
We all know we need to work on our study habits, but have you ever thought about why it’s so hard?
It might be because of the time management skills or forgetting what needs to be done. But what if it’s both?
The problem could actually reside within your own thoughts and beliefs that are making this difficult for you – like a low self-esteem and anxiety hampering your focus; or feeling overwhelmed with studying in general.
If any of these sound familiar, then take some time out today to explore how they’re playing into this situation before blaming other people for not getting things done!
What do you constantly blame?
Are there specific situations where taking responsibility can impact them positively?
Work with the thing you blame instead of against it
If you regularly blame one specific person, or situation, consider the possibility that you can work WITH this person (or situation) rather than against it
This type of mindset can help you to feel in charge and empowered which, in turn, will allow for less stress.
Now that doesn’t mean everything is going to go your way – but it does mean that the other person isn’t just “wrong” or there’s nothing good happening because they exist!
You’re not a victim here. You have control over how much time you spend thinking about this one thing – so try taking response-ability for what YOU PAID ATTENTION TO TODAY instead!
Do you want more confidence in your ability to get a result as a FITPRO?
Find out how you can improve your training knowledge and application simultaneously in 31 days
FITPRO-31 is not another course with more exams or for trainee fitness peep… far from it.
It’s all about Practical application of Training Knowledge and building your CONFIDENCE as a FITPRO
You’ll supercharge your confidence and knowledge to work with clients and guarantee their goals.
I guarantee you’ll have hundreds of “ah ha” moments as you progress your knowledge in coaching, planning, nutrition and behaviour change.
If you are constantly doubting your ability to get a result with a client and you want to build your confidence with more knowledge and practical application
Book a free strategy call HERE and we’ll send you all the details about FitPro31 as well as hop on a call with you to answer your questions and see if you are a good fit for the programme
Dedicated to More
Hayley “Blaming Others Will Only Hold You Back” Bergman
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